Since it’s almost Halloween, I thought I’d show you how to cum like Count Dracula!
Seriously, vampires are freakin’ sexy, right? In fact, they’re pretty much the ultimate super-sexual supernatural beings.
The hypnotic control they have over beautiful young women, the sensual biting of the neck, the sexy clothing, the act of complete submission — the whole vampire mythos is pure, hot sex!
Well, as you probably know, Dracula is based on a real person: Vlad III — also known as Vlad Dracula and Vlad the Impaler. He was ruler of a country called Wallachia, which was next to — I’m totally serious — Transylvania.
And Vlad was one bad dude! In fact, he was such a ruthless leader and killed so many of his enemies — often by impaling them — that some of them started the rumor that he drank human blood.
Well, thanks to hundreds of books, movies, and television shows, the brutal Vlad the Impaler has gradually morphed into the irresistible neck-biter he is today — who always seems to have a bunch of hot babes in see-through nightgowns under his spell.
Yeah, vampires are cool!
And that brings me to another one of my favorite go-to positions — one that really lets me get maximum penetration. And in honor of the inspiration for Count Dracula, I call it Vlad the Impaler.
The main advantage of this position for you is that it gives you TOTAL dominance and control over your woman. And it gives you maximum penetration power.
And she’ll love it because it gives her clit a good workout — as you slide in and out, AND when you penetrate her to the hilt.
Here’s how to try the Vlad the Impaler position:
Position your “virgin” about 2 feet from a wall. Stand behind her, then bend her over forward until she can brace herself with her hands against the wall.
Next, grab one of her legs and pull it back toward you, then raise it up as high as you can — if she’s limber enough, you can rest her leg on your shoulder.
Now, drive in and out of her HARD until you hear her screams of orgasm!
I know you’re gonna love this one. And there’s no reason to wait until October 31 to try Vlad the Impaler. In fact, I want you to try it out tonight and then leave a comment to tell me how much you liked it.
And as usual, please use the “Comments” section to leave me any of your thoughts, ideas, or suggestions.
P.S. You can also use the comments section to ask me any questions related to men’s sexuality, men’s health, or anything else that’s on your mind.
Today I thought I’d send you another quick sex quiz. And I think the answer’s gonna surprise you.
Q: How many calories do men burn in an average sex session?
A: 100 calories. It’s true: Your best sexual performance will only burn off about 100 calories, according to researchers at the University of Quebec at Montreal.
That’s based on a guy of average weight, using missionary position sex for 30 minutes, including foreplay.
Now, sex is all about pleasure, right? But if you want ‘burning calories’ to be a side benefit of great sex, there are a few things you can do to make it more of a workout.
The obvious first thing is ENDURANCE. The longer you go, the more you’ll burn. For example, if you last just 15 minutes, you’ll only burn about 75 calories. But if you’re into marathon sex, you can expect to easily beat that 100 calorie mark.
And the position you choose can make a huge difference. For example, switching from missionary to reverse cowgirl cuts your calorie burn-off to a measly 56 calories!
But if you like your sex standing up: you’ll use 112 calories!
You’ll burn a lot more calories using a standing position instead of something like missionary or reverse cowgirl.
It’s pretty simple: You’ll burn more calories using standing, squatting, or bending positions than you will lying on your back, or resting most of your weight on top of your woman.
Now, if you REALLY want a workout, choose a position where you’ve gotta either move or lift all or most of her weight. For instance, stand by the edge of the bed, then have her lie on her back and raise her legs onto your shoulders.
But instead of using your basic pelvic thrusting, take her hips in your hands. Then lift her hips and pull her onto you, moving her back and forth. You’ll get a great upper-body workout. In fact, you might have to alternate pumping with sliding, because this is harder than it sounds.
If you’ve got great upper body strength, try the one that always looks so easy in the movies (but really makes sex a workout):
Standing, with her legs are wrapped around you while you support all her weight. That one’ll burn some calories! It’s okay to use the wall to support her back if you need to.
And whenever I get the chance, I love to screw in the water on a secluded beach (if I’ve brought a good lubricant that won’t wash off in the water). You get the thrill of semi-public sex, but it’s also a hell of a workout trying to maintain your balance, even in gentle waves.
Now, your level of ‘enthusiasm’ also determines how many calories you shed.
If your preferred pace is a slow and gentle ‘love me tender,’ you’ll use up less than 75 calories. But if you’re more of a ‘drill master,’ you’ll easily hit 100.
Here’s one last thing, which may or may not surprise you: The more you weigh, the more calories you’ll burn.
That’s right, if you’re in good shape and on the slim side, a round of intense, pull-out-all-the-stops sex isn’t much of a workout at all — and burns less than 80 calories.
But if you need to lose some poundage, try for a 30-minute, standing, full-speed-ahead sex workout — you’ll burn off an amazing 160 calories!
You know that I always stress the importance of having a healthy body so you can have a kick-ass sex life. Well, you can flip that around — and let incredible sex help you have a healthier and more fit body.
Please do me a favor and post your comments below. Do you like to make sex a workout? Or do you prefer the gain without the pain? Tell me what you think.
When I think about my favorite sex positions, they all have three things in common:
1) First, they allow total eye contact. It’s a huge boner-booster to look into your woman’s eyes during sex! It intensifies everything — the emotions, the energy, the spiritual connection — and best of all, the orgasm.
2) Next, I’ve gotta have easy access to her pussy and clit… Because as far as her pleasure goes, my hands and fingers are the next best thing to having my tongue down there.
3) And finally, I want to able to reach her breasts, so I can give her nipples a nice stimulating workout.
Give me those three “bonus features” — dude, I’m in heaven!
[Spoiler alert: I’ve included a new, super-hot position and picture for you below.]
Now, I also really like positions that let you easily ‘flow’ into other positions.
If you’re like me, sometimes you wanna switch it up in the heat of the moment and try something different — especially if what you’re trying isn’t working.
Well, The Horny Crab has got it all…
It gives you total clit-and-tit access… you’re looking right into each others’ eyes… it gives you flexibility to vary the action…
And you’ll cum like gangbusters!
Now, to try the Horny Crab, start by sitting on the bed with your legs facing each other. Lean back slightly, using your arms for support.
Bend your knees, then move toward each other until you’re able to enter her.
You should both be in the same position: knees bent, legs slightly spread, with your feet alongside your partner’s body.
Now, start rockin’ ‘n’ rollin’! Think of ocean waves, dragging you back and forth. With both of you moving, a little action goes a long way.
If you wanna hit that clit, just lean forward a little and massage it with your fingers or thumb. And don’t forget to give her nipples the attention they need.
Between the rocking, pumping, massaging, and tweaking, you’ll be exploding in no time!
But if you decide to move into full-steam-ahead raw sex mode, you just take her arms, lie back, pull her up — and voila, you’re in The Cowgirl position!
Now she’s in total control…so she can grind and pump and ride her way to an explosive orgasm.
Or if you wanna be in the driver’s seat — maybe go into jackhammer mode — just reposition your legs so you’re on your knees…throw her legs over your shoulders…and start drilling!
I think you get the point: The Horny Crab is great as an appetizer or as a main course!
Trust me, you’ve gotta try it out for yourself. It’ll knock your socks off!
Be sure to let me know what you think of The Horny Crab in the comments section below…
Or tell me about an unusual position that you’ve discovered — I might share it in an upcoming blog or newsletter.
Seriously, leave a comment below and tell me what you think!
P.P.S. I’m working on some surprises that you don’t want to miss. I’ll tell you about them in the next couple of weeks, so keep an eye out for my upcoming newsletters and blog posts.
Now, I’ve always considered myself an expert at giving women oral sex.
In both my adult film career and my off-camera life, I’ve brought hundreds of women to climax through oral alone.
But I’m always excited by the opportunity to learn new techniques. That’s why I’m glad a few years ago, I got to do something most people don’t know even exists:
I took an oral sex class.
And when I did, I was blown away by everything it turned out I didn’t know.
My oral sex instructor was Jeff Havens. He was hired by the head of one of the adult studios I worked for…
…to teach every performer under contract, guys and girls, how to properly go down on a woman.
“The guys out there watching, they want to see our girls come for real,” the boss said. “Dr. Havens’ll help you make sure they are.”
And you read that right: Doctor Havens.
But Jeff wasn’t an expert in sexuality, or even anatomy.
He was a speech pathologist.
And he taught us the key to great oral sex technique:
Lips, jaws, and a tongue that are fit, practiced…and ready to go for as long it takes to deliver as many orgasms as your partner can stand.
Here are a few of the exercises he showed us…exercises you can use to get yourself oral sex ready.
The Invisible Toothpick
Work your tongue like you’re running it up and down an “Invisible Toothpick.”
Here’s a good basic technique to limber up your tongue.
Open your mouth wide, and picture a toothpick in there, propping your jaws open.
Keeping your tongue behind your teeth, move it up and down, touching the roof of your mouth with the tip when you do.
As you do this, you should be imagining your tongue running up and down the invisible toothpick.
This gets your tongue nice and limber, and also gives you practice making it into a pointed tip…good for hitting those sensitive areas, including her clitoris.
Here’s one to strengthen your jaw, and give it the stamina you need to please your woman for minutes, even hours on end.
Curl up your tongue, and tuck it as far back to the roof of your mouth as you can.
Then, holding your tongue in that position, open and close your mouth at a medium pace.
Start with fifteen times, and see how many you can do before your jaw starts to get stiff. The more often you do this, the longer you’ll be able to go.
The Cheerio Test
This is one of the most basic exercises you can do…but you’ll be amazed how much it strengthens your tongue.
The idea is simple. Put a Cheerio on the roof of your mouth, on the crest of that ridge behind your top teeth.
Without opening your mouth, hold the Cheerio in place with the tip of your tongue….
…and swallow without moving your tongue or the Cheerio.
Jeff recommends doing at least fifteen Cheerios a day. You’ll be astonished how this tones up your body’s most essential oral-sex muscle.
And to really strengthen that tongue…
The “Tongue Bench”: Hold the spoon up using just your tongue, for a full three-count.
Basically, this is weightlifting for your tongue.
Put a spoon handle on the center of your tongue. Then, keeping the spoon steady, lift it with your tongue for a count of three.
Jeff recommends four reps of this tongue lift, three times a day. Stick to this regime, and your tongue will be primed and ready for oral.
Once he got us up to speed with these tongue-and-jaw exercises, the doctor moved on to special oral sex techniques.
Here’s a few of the best moves he gave us. Try these out with your partner. She’ll be very glad you did.
Warming Her Up
Too many men, when going down on their partner, want to just dive right in and attack the clitoris.
What they don’t realize is that the clit is insanely sensitive… and if you don’t pace yourself with a proper warm-up, you could wear your partner out before you even really get started.
Instead of going at the clit first, start with a few long, slow licks up the inner lips of her vagina. Keep your tongue pointed, and don’t forget to use your fingers to stimulate her as well.
Once you’re ready to turn your attention to the clitoris, start by working your tongue slowly back and forth.
If that’s working for her, push back the “hood” of the clit with your lip. Point your tongue and start to work the underside of the clit with a medium-fast stroke.
Make sure your moves are keeping her moist, or what you’re doing might end up hurting her.
And don’t work your tongue too hard. You’re trying to stimulate the clit…not pound it into submission.
Working the Sweet Spot
Once you’ve got a sense of where she likes your tongue going the best, you’re ready to bring it home with your most powerful clit-focused moves.
Gently suck her clit between your lips, keeping it erect for you. Then, start working your tongue in a fast back-and-forth motion, alternating this with slower, swirling licks.
Her moans and movement should give you a sense of when you’re hitting her best spot for pleasure…and guiding her to a crushing orgasm.
Your tongue and lip workouts will make it easy to pull off intense “Oral Penetration.”
One of the reasons we spent so much time preparing your tongue is to get you ready to work it inside your partner’s vagina.
Tongue penetration offers a number of pleasures most men don’t think about nearly enough.
A pointed, narrow tongue, darting back and forth in a swift motion just inside her, goes a long way to getting her ready for orgasm.
Tilting her hips the right way, while you work your tongue over the inner roof of her vagina, will get you in range of the G-spot… ground zero for the female orgasm.
And, if you suck her inner lips and clitoral hood into your mouth before you put your tongue in, this puts you in position for the deepest possible tongue penetration.
From here, you can work your tongue just like your penis (and you’ll be able to, if you’ve done your exercises), and deliver one mighty orgasm after another.
THE PERFECT POSITION
Now, these basic techniques can be adapted to any oral sex positions you and your partner prefer.
But I’ve gotten the best results with two different positions I’ve tried.
The first is a good basic position, one that’s comfortable no matter what shape you or your partner are in.
I call this one: “The Light Snack.”
“The Light Snack”: Easy, comfortable…and powerfully orgasmic.
For this position, your partner lies back on the bed, with her knees bent down over the edge of the mattress.
You kneel on the floor between her legs, and adjust her hips to give your lips and tongue good, open access to her vagina.
All the oral techniques I told you about work well in this position. It keeps your head and neck at a natural, comfortable angle, to allow you to do your thing for as long as you’re able.
If you need to go easy on your knees, feel free to use a pillow or towel to ease your strain. Another pillow under her buttocks or back can also improve your angle of approach.
So, if you conquer the Light Snack and want to step up your oral game, here’s a modified version I call (what else?)…”The Main Course.”
“The Main Course”: Tougher to perform…but the payoff is huge.
This one will take a partner with a bit of strength and flexibility. But if she can manage it, the orgasms you’ll deliver will be more than worth it.
For this, your partner is again on her back on the bed. But instead of her legs hanging over the side, she bends her legs and rests her heels on the edge of the bed.
Then, she arches her back up, so her vagina is opened and tilted up towards you.
This position can be a bit tough on her neck, shoulders, and back if you’re not prepared.
I suggest supporting her shoulders and upper back with pillows, like a triangle-shaped specialty massage pillow.
The beauty of this position is, it provides you with a wide, elevated opening, that’s perfect for penetrating with your tongue.
And with the tongue exercises I gave you above, you’ll be able to get your tongue to a fine, pointed tip.
This’ll give you access to the clustered nerve endings right inside her vagina, as well as her pubococcygeus muscle… which reacts intensely during orgasm.
As long as her legs and back…and your tongue and jaw…can hold out, you can work the Main Course to give her orgasm after orgasm.
I took that oral sex class with Dr. Havens years ago, and I’ve never forgotten these lessons.
They’ve served me well, both on camera and with the women whose company I’ve enjoyed offscreen.
They’re easy to practice, easy to perform…and capable of delivering consistent, powerful, multiple orgasms.
If you try these oral sex practice and performance techniques with your partner, write me to let me know how you like them…
…and, more importantly, how she likes them.
If you do your homework, and really get your skills on point, every time you go down on your partner…
…she’ll be so satisfied, she’ll say, “Wow. You must have taken a class.”
For your health,
P.S. Don’t forget to leave some comments below! I want to hear what you think about these ideas. Have you tried some of these techniques already? If so, how did they work? If you haven’t tried any of these yet, I’d love for you to try them out tonight and leave a comment below on how it worked for you.
These guys are basically the free-love swingers of the animal kingdom.
(Live Science once wrote an article about the bonobos called “Hippie Chimps.”)
The first thing I noticed was how mellow the bonobos seemed.
They were mostly just hanging around in the shade, eating, and playing.
This was a big difference from the chimpanzees we passed on our way to the bonobo habitat.
The chimps were hollering and growling. Two of them were fighting over some apples the zookeepers had given them.
A recent Live Science article about chimpanzees had a very different title than their bonobo piece.
Chimps, it said, are “Naturally Violent.”
And that violence extends to their sex lives.
If bonobo life is like a free-love commune (and I’ll tell you what I saw in a minute)…chimpanzee mating is a nastier version of what goes on in bars and nightclubs every weekend.
Males fight and literally kill other males for rights to a female.
Sometimes, they’ll beat or slap the female chimps to get sex from them.
And the sex they get is pretty much like I described before: one position, all the time.
Sex among chimpanzees is strictly to produce more chimps, or so a male can mark a female as “his.”
And nobody’s enjoying it.
All you have to do to see how different bonobo sex is from chimp sex is watch two bonobos say hello.
Bonobo Monkeys have a “unique” way of saying hello.
Julie and I saw two bonobos approach each other, hoot a couple of times…
…and start rubbing each other’s crotches.
“Look,” Julie said with a smile. “They’re saying hi.”
(Scientist Vanessa Woods referenced this by calling her book about ape sex Bonobo Handshake.)
And this wasn’t about marking territory. That was easy to see when we watched the same two bonobos “say hi” to other apes the same way.
On the other side of their habitat, a few more bonobos were finishing up a hearty lunch of fruit, nuts, and eggs.
How did they burn off the lunchtime bloat?
With an orgy, of course.
Julie told me bonobos do this a lot.
Sometimes, it’s to celebrate a big event, like a new ape arriving in the habitat.
Sometimes, it’s exercise, like what we were watching.
And sometimes, they break into group sex…just because.
Julie and I spent almost our entire time at the zoo in front of the bonobo habitat.
It seemed like we saw some new sex behavior every five minutes.
We watched females “present” to males at the drop of a hat…
…and have sex with multiple males in the same short time.
We saw apes of both sexes masturbate, have oral sex, and enjoy frottage.
(Back in high school, we called that dry humping.)
And two of the bonobos did something we’re always told only humans do:
They had sex face to face.
Bonobos are the only other animal species (besides humans) who have sex face to face.
And it wasn’t just hard, detached pumping like you’d get from chimps.
These two were into each other.
They touched, held hands, even kissed.
And they made eye contact the whole time.
They even do that during “doggy-style.” The female looks back at the male as he goes to town.
The result of all this sexual openness and variety?
A community much more gentle, peaceful, and (from what I could see) happy than what you find with those brawling, grudge-fucking chimps.
And I can tell you for sure…
…watching this was having a strong effect on Julie.
Their freedom, their utter enjoyment of the sex they were having…
She kept letting out little sighs and coos.
Every time two (or more) of the apes coupled up, she moved a little closer to me.
And she held my hand the entire time we watched the two intimate, face-to-face ape lovers.
When we walked to the car after we left, Julie seemed almost like she’d just had sex herself.
She had her arm around my waist, and her hip kept bumping me as we walked.
“So,” I asked her, “you come see these guys a lot?”
“Not a lot,” she replied. “Just with the men I really like.”
Our third date ended the way a third date should end.
And, let me tell you, I picked up some valuable tips from those monkeys that day.
Sure, bonobos have face-to-face sex, just like us…but that’s definitely not all they do.
So be sure to try a range of different sex positions and activities.
To get you started, I’ve got a little variation on doggy-style for you to try.
It’s exciting and different enough that I think it might even put a smile on a chimp’s face.
It’s called…The Full Bonobo…
The Full Bonobo Position allows for deep penetration.
It starts with a standard doggy-style position. She should keep her legs together.
Now, instead of thrusting away on your knees, in this position you throw your legs over her hips and plant your feet flat.
Your stance should be almost like a sumo wrestler’s.
From this position, you’ll be able to penetrate deeper than standard doggy-style allows.
It also keeps your hands free for all that touching and squeezing the bonobos like so much.
If getting in this stance is a little too much for you, you can try doing it with just one leg.
The other leg will brace you up on your knee, just like in standard doggy-style.
I call this variation The Half Bonobo.
The Half Bonobo allows you to brace yourself.
Now, I can tell you firsthand that these variations on your classic “Doggystyle” will definitely add some edge and excitement to your next sexual session. In fact, I put them to use right after Julie and I got home from the zoo.
And Julie was moved by the experience.
I could tell by how she tossed her hair…
… how she grinned over her shoulder, and licked her lips when I entered her.
The way she leaned back into every thrust.
It’s a good thing it was deserted at the rest area where she and I stopped on the way home.
Of course, there’s a good chance the cars whipping by could still hear her.
The orgasm I gave her in this position made her scream like…
…a wild animal.
Of course, I had some help from my male supplement, PHGH.
I designed this all-natural product with the same idea as the bonobos:
Sex, whenever, wherever, however you have it, should always deliver maximum pleasure.
PHGH is calibrated to deliver the most complete sexual experience of any supplement now available.
Julie and I are headed back to the zoo this weekend.
There’s a new snake she’s dying to see.
I hope this weekend, when your partner tells you you’re like a wild animal…
You’ll know exactly what she means.
For your health,
P.S. If you try out the Happy Bonobo, or any new sexual experiences, after reading this blog, leave a comment on here and let me know how it goes! I’m always happy to hear about your sex success stories.
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